Suffocated month I can say, I'm sorry but again I'm here to post some emo stuff and complains about my life, But this is the only place and way for me to express whatever things were in me that I couldn't shout it out and cry it out so loudly..Indeed, I'm in pain which I don't know what to do..And I can't see what's happening even tomorrow..
Family problems has yet to be solved, I have a Paranoid Family as everyone knows. I'm not here to degrade nor make embarrassment of myself, But I do have the very 'Weird' family of. I don't know what to say, As I wanted to study so hard you know.. I could only blame my future is totally ruined by my family. Yes, You might think " Future is by your own hand, dont ever blame anyone else. " LOOK , put yourself in my shoe. Saying and Advising It's easy, But when you do ? Or when you're in that situation? I don't think you could even bare with how it feels of killing yourself immediately. Even when you ask your sibling nor parents to fetch you for tuition, they could just answer your :" I'm not free, so you don't need to go. " When my arguement starts like, HEY , I wanna study and I need to work next time, are you gonna feed me for the past years of it? As they goes : " Just go study yourself. " Dude, What do you mean by YOURSELF? Do you ever know Secondary schools teachers nowadays DOESN'T gives any DAMN nor EFFORT? What they can do is telling you :" Here's the example question * a 1 or 2 question, finish the whole topic and chapter * " If you dont like it, just be it, I'll still get my salary ". All my works, knowledge and understandings depends on my Tuition. I even taking a hard time to take my FEES? You're treating people out there, having dinners and meals like a day equals to my 1 month of fees? And you're yelling and screaming at me that saying " NO MONEY, U JUST STOP YOUR TUITION LAR " . What the fucking problem with you guys ? When I wanna go to school so hardly, You took away the transport, and let me to die just like that. Great, I've been skipping school for almost a week. That's what you wish, just because you doesn't want me to drive, you took the car away, and without think of the consequences. Screwed up parents, family. Seriously, Fuck you all.
When I'm at home, You tell me ' DONT STAY AT YOUR ROOM '. As I'm actually Studying and doing Revision , You don't even fucking believe I do. All you have is Doubts on me. When I'm Out, You're so fucking angry. What do you want really? Asking me to live outside? You even curse my friends and saying them not good, WITHOUT knowing them and see-ing them. You thought your Pasar Aunties Is very good? At there gossip about people's son, Worse thing, You go support them , from saying how bad your own son is. :) *a round of applause*.
I could only say, Without my Friends. I'm nothing. All I could rely, it's on them sometimes. I really doesn't like to count on other ppl, I feels so bad, from taking people's time away. I mean, I'm just doesn't like to take ppl for granted , And i always wanted to do something to repay them. But sometimes, I can't though i wanted so hard..
I'll just take these as Experiences of Life, And a Good Motivation. I'm pure numb to my family, I guess i wouldn't have any tears even they passed away. I don't know. I'm just numb, and lost. I wouldn't be like how they work as, that they can't even manage their own customers in a good way. Trust me.. I'll move out once i'm 18, I'll live my own, Use my Own and Still I'll Pay you guys up, to shut u guys up.
1 comment:
Pierre Spies, the talented South African number 8, has gone through many difficulties in life. When he was 15 years old, his parents divorced, and only a few years later his
father died. Spies then decided to trust God with his life, but that didn’t mean the tough times ended.
Despite this hardship, Spies trusted in God’s plan, which is found in Jesus, who said, “In my Father’s
house are many rooms; if that were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place
for you” (John 14:2). Jesus is preparing a place in heaven for everyone who trusts in Him. Anyone can
take up this offer, because Jesus paid for anything we’ve done wrong by dying on the cross for us.
When we trust Him, we are no longer guilty, and like Spies, whether life is good or bad, we can praise
God and know His plan will never change.
When facing tough times, allow God to take control. He has the answers.
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