Tired Again..

This whole week, i just feel so many things doesn't right.. i feel very uncomfortable.. with no reason im vexed up.. and i know something will happen.. and there.. and i know more to go.. again.. and again.. i'll never be a peace person..
Thank you, for staying with me such a long days.. i made u suffer, cried, hate urself and alot more.. is such fucking stupid of u.. that u stay beside this idiot retarded childish unworthy cursed person.. now u choose to leave me. and i know. im happy. because u suffer no more.. from me..
i've never thought the days without u is so painful.. so miserable.. i have no one to talk with .. i have no 1 to share with.. i have no 1 to cry to.. without u.. im lost.. more lost than whatever...
I'll never back to what i am .. I'll never be the Kenneth last time.. I've changed.. more bad.. more evil.. and please.. dont come near to me.. it will just influence u all the bad things.. and i dont even deserve any love because of such an fucking problematic person like me..
I've nothing to say.. but to curse myself.. because this is what i am and i deserved...

20th July 2010

O nooo, I'm older by 1 year TODAY! well in facts im still 16 ! i so gonna stay at 18 forever btw ! hahahahha !
This year birthday doesn't seems interesting, well i still remember Janice and everyone of my RO friends they all gave me a birthday surprise during the gathering dinner. >< really touched and appreciate alot ! thanks guys ! <3 !
Well today went out whole day to celebrate my birthday with one person ! hahaha, really thanks for being with me ! although we did nothing much and have just a simple dinner, but u know ! it really means alot to me ! :) ! <3 you soooo much ! Muacx !
Thinking and Wondering if i should organize a BBQ party this coming saturday night, just to re-bright my birthday memories for this year. hahahah ! looking forward and everyone is welcomed !
Well tomorrow have school, better go rest !
Again, Thanks everyone that wishes me ! and also Accompanied me ! <3 !
Though this birthday seems boring, but a little wishes would just make everything great ! :)

11th July 2010

Ah... ! Another fully occupied weekends :D ! Went out for PC Show & Fair with Schoolmates, Enjoyed the wholeeeeeeeeeee dayy ! And i used alotttttttttttttt of Money Too -.-.
Of Course I'm Happy Shopping Around For Electronic Stuff And Other Than That, Clothes. Well Is A "Ouch" After Counting The Spend. LOL.
Went To Chan Chen Place overnight, And first time ever we can sleep early which is 3 oclock. Wanted to watch football. but everyone fallen asleep -.-
Ahh Maple reach lvl108 ! Blekk lvl120 tomorrow for sure i know XD.
Currently Doing The Insanity WorkOut program. And Is totally totally Killing me. Is Really Though == ! Helpp .. But I Wont Give Up ! Hppmm !
Lastly.
I MISS YOU ALOT ! LOVE U :( ! COME BACK FAST PLS ! U Know Who You Are =(.

6th July 2010

Didn't went for class today due to consulting Phychiathrist, Well i'm not mental disorder. There's no worries. Just to stable my mood swings. Super tired, so i just went for a nap after coming back for lunch. Went for tuition after dinner. And Re-decorate my room. lol. 2 hours of works really dry me off.

Tada ! My new Deco for the side.
Sometimes, all kind of things happen is not because and by our control. I believe there's always a purpose for that. And We, are born and created by God for a purpose. And did u actually know and found out the purpose of it?
I know no 1 is perfect and everyone have mistake. But the point is us, that wants to repent and make a changes or not. I'm sorry to my Girl, that I've made her suffer and ache so much, but i believe that I can make a changes and never happen the same thing again. The pain of hers, i'll never know and feel how much it is. And i will never compare to mine because I doesn't worth or deserve to do that.
Love, might be the greatest things on earth. But whom Love is the Greatest and Best? Which Priority of Love u had? God's Love, Is just too powerful. His love, is undeniable. No matter how we reject his love, he will still continue to love us. Because all of us. Are The Child of His. Well, Other than that of course we have the 2nd priority love for our life partner. Hah, the feeling are like "Wooohoo" U can never describe it. It's feels so high and super fast heart beat pumps when u see him/her, but even when they're away. Your mind just doesn't stop by thinking of him/her. But of course, Love. are not said just by mouth. Actions Are Bigger Than words. There's no use just by saying I Love You. Without Action, U're Just Bullshitting.
Owh, I think i'm getting tired D: ~ Needa get some sleep !
Nighhttz :D
Love You, Jerri :).

O MY GOSHHH !

Galaxy?
Or IPhone?
iPhone?
Or Galaxy?
Galaxy?
iPhone?
Galaxy?
iPhone?

I'm Going INSANE by choosing this 2 phones !! WHICH 1 Should I Get? Both Are Similar ! And Both Are Awesome And Fantastic ! Goodness !! It Stucks In My Mind For More Than 48 Hours !!

Samsung Galaxy S ?
iPhone a.k.a Apple ?

4th June 2010

Not Much Updates since recently not much things happened, oftenly in home maple only. lol. haih tomorrow monday le, got school again :( ... better get some rest now :)

Good Bye June. Hello July.

Again, It comes to the end of June. For a month, that i never thought it will just pass so fast. I mean, Time. Just a blink of our eyes and yeap ! it came to the mid and 3rd quarter of the year already. Suddenly i've been thought, what did i ever do in this year? And any of difference between the last year? Did i grow? Did i been a better guy ? Did i actually changed anything ? Ever any of you guys think about it? Thinking back to the past and compare it. If it's bad, make a changes, if it's good, Continue with all the good Works. and continue grow in the right path. Also by the leading of God.

For me, I've actually thinks that i'm growing, being good, and also changed alot of things. Though all the stuffs i did this year seems really bad, but guess what? Maybe there's a purpose? Maybe there's a Reason. And i Know there's is. But the main thing is, Is time for me to return back which it's right. By saying "taking experience" , i guess i've taken much more than expected and expose hence explore like no tomorrow. And repent is to come. But by doing this " Big changes " , for those who know i'm a *Ahem*. Well is not easy, and also is just by the decision of me.

I did alot alot of stuffs in this June. And actually i've been thinking much more positive stuffs. And also stable myself even in relationships, Studies, Outings and etc. I'm a Guy that knows what i'm doing, what is happening, and there.. I have no need people to worries me so much, because i really really do know what to do, Because i have the Holy Spirit, and also God. Which always lead and talks to me. Oftenly, They warned me which to not do and not to go. Although sometimes those are bad stuff, but I believe holding on is still good. But seriously, i can't always like this i guess. It's a bad influence and also a bad example of me. There's ppl saying " Orh Kenneth, You're a good example, U're my idol ( as in learning stuff from me ) . " I Nod my head but i don't know what to say. I Figure out, i'm just not the one u guys finding, Because my life, no 1 knows what's behind the scene, i might looks so alright, but nothing can even impartly suits and measure it. Everything with me, are messed up and totally freak out, and Is me that need to puzzle up 1 by 1 and solve it. 1 Word, I'm complicated. But u can still learn some good stuff from me :P like being honest or whatever =)..

2 Of my this bestie in School. without them , i guess i'm just total miserable, Thank you Chan Chen and Vincent. You guys been so moving a step out for me, by my real attitudes and personalities, only you guys know what kind of person i am , and yet u guys just endure so much. Is really a good time being together. Gaming together, Joking together, Talking Craps together. Is just all the wonderful time :). You guys are part of my world life, that rocks me up. =)

My Cousin Sis and Cousin Bro :).
My Mom , Aunties And Cousins.


A wonderful dinner that day, having photo shooting and hanging around with all relatives. I Know you guys been warning me , i know. But the thing is, i really dont like ppl to mumble me. I just felt very annoyed as i always repeat. Yes, I Know what im doing, dont worry. But it just seems like there's no " Trust " in you guys towards me. Sometimes i also need my own time, my own privacy time. I'm grown up, im not a little kid anymore. I Just hope, u guys will just give me time to change myself. I'm really heading to a bad situation and i really cracking my head to force myself to turn back.. Is not easy.. Is really really not easy.. You guys just have no idea no how pains and effort i've make out.. I Just hope will get some trust , and also time. Care me is the key, but not being mumblish and repeating like a Grandma. Thank You.. :)

He's Lucky !
My New Dog :O Isn't It's Adorable !

Ahhhh.. I got a new dog, and is really cute. It's just such a good boy ! and is so Naughty ! ahahahaha ! Wonderful dog that i have :P ! But still need to be train :( !

Roman And Khai Sing
The 2 silly Fella i've been hanging out over the month !

Almost the whole June ! 3/4 of the days are covered by them. You guys really makes me really happy ! Man.. is just soooooooo great and wonderful hanging out with u 2 ! Laughter, Jokes, Talks, Communicate. Is like Everything ! Really Really can't be describe how much u guys mean to me. I really know that u 2 are the real friend of mine, that when i'm down.You're here for me. When i'm in need of someone, You're always There for me. Frankly, whenever i'm emo, i was acting, but guess what? after hanging out with u guys, i'm just back to the happy me :P ! How awesome are u guys ? :D !

RO Friends.
My Sausage Cheese Lamb Chop :O !
One Of My Best God Bro I Ever Had :P ! We Communicate by "Quarreling".
Vir the ATM of the day :P !
Vir and Janice "WOW THE FOOD IS AWESOME, I Can't Wait To Eat :P !"
Sen , Vir's BF.

Blink Ah Blink. We've know each other for, almost 2 years dy ? Some of you guys are nearly like 4 years + ? orh, i just dont know what to say. YOU GUYS ARE TOTALLY ROCK MY WORLD ! Talking Rubbish , Gossip , About RO , Killing This Killing That, Etc Etc. We will never end our conversation whenever we meet, Because everyone are clicked to each other. Though not everyone of us are in the same RO Server already, But yet everytime we come out, we still have lots and lots of things to talk, even sometimes Called up for P&C Talks HAHAHA. Craps and Rubbish All Arounds Which Jokes The Day And Night :P ! Its a pleasure to know all of you, because i've not been depress or emo for a minute whenever i'm out with u guys :) !

Medicine , Medicine , And Medicines.

LOOK AT THE AMOUNT OF MEDICINES ! IS TOTALLY KILLING ME MAN ! This is what's my condition right now :( ! I've been coughing for almost 2 months soon, and yet to be recover. well i just consult a doctor only, nothing Big, just that the weather is very dry, and usually if i flu and cough, it takes me some time to recover :P. Do pray for me , for a better and faster recovery :).

_________________________________________________________

Today i've thought of you, I've dreamed about you during my sleep in the afternoon. Scenes and Scenes of us being together in there. And my tears, are like waterfall after i woke up..
My Heart Aches, and I Think of the almost the whole day.. And by typing this.. I Just feel so pain.. Is that something happened or wrong .. ?
We've known each other since young at standard 4 and i really likes u alot ..
1st time holding your hand last year before you go off, i mean.. i just donno when can i do that again. i really wants to hold your hand and dont let go. You're the only Girl i've loved , I've no Ex-s , I've never hold hand and kissed a single girl in my life, Is all bullshits that i say, because i want to proud of myself. Though yes, i have lots of relationship, but is just not i love, i've never love or even like them. Is just a excuse to let people know, i'm in a relationship.. and i'm so pro or whatever..
I really really hope that you're here, Do you know how much , how much and how deep i loved you ? It sounds a little bit weird that you're the only girl that i have, but It is really really true.. We are like thousands miles far away right now.. but i've not changed.. I really hope that you will come back.. as this land, is where you setup on too..
I've regret and really guilty about doing everything that hurts u, and yet u've never been give up on me. I'm a stupid idiot and fucking retarded guy that never treasure such a good girl. Is me that wasted you. I'm truely sorry for all the past..
Hence , Sometimes i really doesn't know what you want, or even what i want.. because im confuse that some second you told me to be together and another day say that you're not ready..
A Relationship for me, Is because i need Love, I need Care , I Need Attention And I Need Concern. Is alittle bit too young for me to have a relationship, But i really wanna give it a try.. because i really lack of the above.. and i felt really bad and without any concern, i'm just like Nothing..
But for you, i want Give You what i needed, and same what you've given me, Is totally enough what u've gave me. And stop blaming yourself for not being good enough, You're actually more than enough, that no need to be enough anymore. Limits for you are totally out of the sight and thoughts.. It should be me, that you blame on. And even sometimes i can't forgive myself..
My Promises to you, will never fail. But Just give me sometime , alright? I Believe i can change and sacrifice for you:). Thank You, For Being In my Life.And Always Stays Beside Me.
Though We Are Not Physically Together, But I Believe 1 Day we Will.. Let's Stay Strong, And Face The Coming Days :) ..
I Love You, And That's Not Gonna Be Change In Any Circumstances.

God, You've call me to forgive myself, because you've forgive me. But i really hard to do that, because i've sin like no one else, my sin are like bigger than the world.. How could i ever resist this and forgive myself from being bad and made you looking at me, pulled by the devils, and also falling back. Hurting You, That is a bullshits that i say give you my all, because i don't.. Please, Change me as i have a willing heart..